Good vibes only: 3 steps to build your speaking energy

“If your presence doesn’t work, neither will your word.”
~ Gabrielle Bernstein quoting Yogi Bhajan in her book “The Universe Has Your Back”

When we speak, it is not just our words that carry the message forward, it is also our energy, vibes and the state of mind. As speakers who want to create greater impact, we need to align the message with our own presence, as well as the energy of the audience. Craig Valentine, a World Champion of Public Speaking and my mentor, emphasizes that importance of meeting our audience members where they are energetically and then moving them to where we want them to be. This applies to all important conversations, not just public speaking. Even in self-talk, what we say may contradict to how we feel – you can be your own audience. Here is how you can connect with your audience members and influence them on the energetic and emotional level:

Find the calm in the eye of the speaking storm. You may feel nervous and jittery before your presentation. You may find it hard to control the stream of thoughts coming through your mind. You may feel swept away by the whirlpool of events that are happening around you. It is important to find your center – your core. Find a quiet place where you can have a few minutes to yourself and do the following exercise that we often do in our yoga classes. Stand tall, take a deep breath and constrict every muscle in your body. Tighten your stomach, clench your feasts, squeeze everything inward and, as my yoga teacher likes to say, “Make a prune face.” Hold it for a few seconds then release as you exhale. Repeat a few times. I find this exercise helps me release stress and recharge.

Feel your audience’s vibes. Observe your audience, if possible, before your presentation. Are they energetic or low-key? Are they tired? Have they just come back from lunch? Do they appear formal or informal? Imagine yourself somewhere on the beach. You are about to enter the ocean. What does the ocean look like? Do you see calm, turquoise-blue waters? Do you feel the breeze chasing the waves to the shore? Do the waves look fun and playful or big and threatening? The ocean that you are about to enter represents the energy of your audience. You need to adjust your behavior accordingly, whether it is swaying back and forth on gentle waves, diving in, swimming along or staying close to the shore. Let your audience’s presence guide you when you begin so you can match their energetic level and build rapport. If your audience members feel tired and bored, jumping up and down on the stage will only annoy them. Transport them into a story instead, gradually capture their imagination and take it further.

You are the captain of the ship, and your audience are the passengers, so make it a memorable journey. Raise those sails and be ready to cruise along. Once you have connected with your audience and got their attention, make sure you have a toolbox of strategies to bring your audience where it needs to be, no matter if the waters are calm or rough. Compelling stories, reflective questions, clear points and take-aways, memory anchors, statements of benefits, and effective delivery techniques can all help you take your audience on a most amazing journey, both mentally and energetically, so they would want to sail with you again and again.

By | 2017-02-01T13:24:18+00:00 February 1st, 2017|Communication, Perception, Public Speaking, Yoga|0 Comments

What stories will you live by in 2017?

Happy New Year!  

Detoxing the mind is as important as detoxing the body. Our self-talk is how our mind communicates the stories we live by. What stories will you live by in 2017?

The first step in this self-talk detox process is to figure out your patterns. Begin by observing how your self-talk affects your mental state. Is your inner voice kind or angry? Is it accepting or judgmental? Does it speak respectfully or yell? Are there any attributes you use to describe yourself that, perhaps, you shouldn’t?

Let’s practice the language of love…

Speak the language of love,

Feel the tingle of warm, sweet bubbles dancing on the tip of your tongue.

Cleanse your palate for words that melt in your mouth like chocolate.

Savor the goodness and richness of the elixir of love.

By | 2017-01-01T20:16:19+00:00 January 1st, 2017|Communication, Conflict Management, Yoga|0 Comments

The word play ritual to spell release, intention and surrender

As the year end is getting closer, people take time to reflect on the months past and set their vision for the future. Today, I offer you a ritual that can bring more creative play to this process. Words, rituals and play captivate the brain in their own unique ways and facilitate transformation. Words can cause the brain to create a vivid and real experience of whatever these words represent to us.  Rituals tap into the predictive power of the brain to set expectations and rewire the brain to give commands in accordance with such expectations.  Play liberates our creative spirit, silences the inner critic, and allows us to see a broader range of possibilities and solutions.

The ritual below is a form of contemplative practice, so it should not be rushed. You may have heard that the popularity of coloring books for adults have grown over the past years because they help people release stress. Coloring is easy and gives an opportunity for the mind to wander. In addition, research suggests that using your hands to write or do crafts, like knitting, for example, also benefits the brain. The word play ritual offers the same benefits but in a more personal and creative way. Children can have fun with it too.

It is inspired by nature and the change of seasons. While trees let go of the leaves and stay bare in their dreamy rest through the winter, our human cycle of activity tends to speed up during the holiday season.  Amidst this hustle and bustle, it is useful to find a practice that can bring us to the roots, ground and center our energy. As leaves decompose in nature to fuel the growth of plants in the Spring, our dry plant ink will help us let go of anything that is no longer needed and cultivate the quiet intention for the transformation we want to bring into our lives.

You begin by preparing your dry plant ink. For my ink, I used dry rose petals, chamomile flowers and lavender flowers that I often use to brew teas.  Dry herbs, spices, tea leaves are all good options. You can crumble the dry plants with your hands or use a rolling pin.

I like to collect my dry plant ink into a mesh sachet bag. I may even through a few of my favorite crystals into the mix.  When not in use, you can keep such sachet on your desk for its beautiful aroma, which will serve as another reminder to your brain of your set intentions. (The sense of smell is the only one of the five senses directly linked to the limbic system – the center of emotions in the brain.)

For your project, you will also need a surface to work on, such as a sheet of paper or a canvas. Instead of a pen, I roll a paper cone to spread my dry plant ink on the surface. You can just use your fingers to spell the words too. I have a little paint brush and a broom to help me along.

Once you have everything ready, it is time to think of the words that represent something that you want to release. For example, I chose to spell the word “fear” as something to let go of. I “sit” with this word and the feelings it may stir in me as I spell it with my dry plant ink. As you paint your word, notice what comes up for you in the process. For example, I noticed that I wanted to rush and finish the “unpleasant” word faster. This is not surprising because we want to avoid unpleasant feelings or discomfort associated with them. However, I chose to slow down and make it beautiful nonetheless. Those negative feelings are there for us to warn or alert us to something. They are worthy to be acknowledges and accepted for what they are.

Once the word is completed, take time to appreciate it before you let it go. I sweep it with my tiny broom. You can mix it up with your hands or even blow it away. This represents the impermanent nature of our emotions. We can move from one mental state to another.

Now is the time to pick up a new positive word that represents something you want to focus on or bring more of into your life.  You use the same dry plant ink to transform the negative into the positive as you invite the lessons of your negative experience to fuel the positive change. Savor the time and the process as you spell your positive word. Notice what comes up for you now. My positive word ended up much bigger and fuller than my negative word. I added more ink to complete it. Keep it as long as you wish before you feel it is time to return it back into the sachet bag and breathe in its lingering aroma. I left mine on my daughter’s desk for now as a surprise when she comes back from school. Perhaps, it will inspire her to paint her own.

Try it and let me know how it goes. Maybe, you will want to share your picture too.

I wish you a happy and peaceful holiday season!

[UPDATE] This is what I got back from my daughter 🙂

By | 2016-12-21T12:49:31+00:00 December 20th, 2016|Brain, Change, Communication, Creativity, Learning|0 Comments

10 yoga-inspired reflections for joyful, stress-free holidays

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff – just sweat. Keep your body hot and your mind cool.thanksgiving
  2. Breathe in peace and calm, breathe out love and joy.
  3. Stir drinks, not emotions.
  4. Twist torsos, not words.
  5. Cartwheel around sensitive topics.
  6. Invert perspectives to get the right side up.
  7. Feel your roots and bend like a willow.
  8. Even if you can’t keep your balance, you can find it again.
  9. Be present for all that is here now, and be grateful for what it awakens in you.
  10. Would a leaf floating to the ground make a sound?
    Would a thought crossing your mind leave you kind?

Words as energy of 5 elements: earth, water, fire, air, and ether.

five-elementsWords of all kinds traverse our meadows…
Words that bend minds,
Words that shoot arrows.
Words light up hearts,
And words hide in the shadows.

When we share words, we share facts, ideas, opinions, but those are not the only things we share. Words create a unique blend of energy around the message, just like spices add different flavors to the same ingredients in a dish. Some words work so well together that they transmit powerful energy. Others may neutralize or create confusion. The energy of words activates different emotions in ourselves, as well as our listeners. Words can make us happy, calm, motivated, sad, angry, confused or overwhelmed. With each choice of words, we can either disengage or connect, show up guarded or vulnerable, belittle or uplift, assume or explore.

The most creative forms of energy in communication lead to new patterns of understanding, appreciation, and emotion. Energy is not something inherent in words or emotions, but rather emergent from a variety of factors at play and thus can be transformed.

In our workshop “The Art of Speaking from the Heart,” we borrow from the 5 elements in yoga to talk about the energetic states of communication. These elements permeate all aspects of life, and many cultures use the concept of the 5 elements in one way or another. While this articles addresses their application to communication, these elements speak broadly to our physical and mental states.

1. Earth. The earth element brings a sense of safety and stability to conversations. You feel grounded and centered. The words are rooted in the core of your being, your values and beliefs. You strengthen the earth element in your communication when you build trust and rapport with the participants. All words and feelings are respected. People feel safe to express their concerns, discuss sensitive issues and show their vulnerability. The earth element invites the commitment to deliberation and thoughtful decisions. A well-designed process, structure and agenda support the earth element. In contrast, when the earth element is weak, participants may feel disrespected, manipulated, judged or ostracized.

2. Water. The water element suggests fluidity and flexibility. It awakens the creative flow in conversations and acknowledges the evolving nature of ideas, opinions and solutions. Participants are encouraged to connect with one another, keep an open mind and consider multiple perspectives. Self-expression comes easily as things “roll off your back.” The techniques of brainstorming, role-play and improv strengthen the water element. The energetic state of water invites fresh approaches and innovative solutions. When the water element is weak, conversations feel stale. Participants are entrenched in their positions and unwilling to budge or look at the situation from a different angle.

3. Fire. The fire element is about power and determination. It provides the energy and will to move forward despite difficulties and differences of viewpoints. Participants are willing to stand in their power and speak their truth. The fire element brings out the courage and will to explore the issues below the surface and reach deeper understanding and clarity. In yoga and Ayurveda, fire element is linked to digestion. In conversations, it invites the participants to “digest” the issues and emotions in healthy ways so that they can nourish their bodies and minds. Too much fire, however, can be overwhelming and cause anger, judgment or verbal attacks. The weak fire element results in apathy, withdrawal, and inability to digest new ideas.

4. Air. The air element harnesses the power of the wind to generate movement, enthusiasm, inspiration, and creativity. It brings lightness to conversations, making it possible to discuss difficult issues in a lighthearted and open manner. Humor, stories and anecdotes can strengthen the air element in communication. If it gets too “windy,” the participants can experience a “bumpy ride” – an unpredictable, abrupt or rough patch in their conversation. Regaining their balance and control by focusing on the agenda and addressing issues in a timely manner, can help avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety.

5. Ether, or space. The ether element invites us to observe the reality and hold space for everything that happens. It is about acceptance, conscious awareness, and capacity to connect with your higher self and speak your inner truth. When the mind is still, clarity emerges. We strengthen the ether element when we take time to reflect, mediate, journal, and integrate ideas. The ether element invites us to notice subtle things and welcomes silence as space to allow new ideas to percolate to the surface. Encompassing the fifth, or throat, chakra, the ether element is directly related to self-expression and communication. Sound vibration, emptiness, resonance and expansion are all qualities of ether. Unrestrained, ether can expand beyond boundaries and cause differences to emerge.

How do earth, water, fire, air, and ether manifest in your communications? Where do you find imbalances?

Want to find out your communicative strengths and weaknesses in each of the five elements? Subscribe to the newsletter in the header above and stay tuned to our upcoming assessment.